Mental Health Training

London Marathon 2022: What will it take?

Posted by on 5 Sep, 2022 in Mental Health |

London Marathon 2022: What will it take?

One month today till London Marathon 2022!

Marathon runners aren’t made in one day, they are made through months and months of dedication and sacrifice.

Whether I finish the 26.2 miles on 2nd October will come down to two things, whether I’ve physically trained enough, and whether I am mentally strong enough.

And so the battle begins, with my body and my brain:

  • Water infections because the training makes me ‘run down’ (no pun intended)
  • Lost, loose, and bruised toe nails
  • Blisters on toe ends
  • A sore undercarriage and boobs
  • Aching limbs
  • Constant hunger and fridge picking
  • Constantly trying out different sportswear and medical dressings for least friction best fit
  • Post training exhaustion and need for sleep

But the most challenging battle…

  • A brain that tells me I can’t do this, I’m too tired
  • A brain that is wondering where exactly I will get water stops and how I will cope with the lack of familiarity of the route
  • A brain that keeps asking what if I eat too much or too little on the morning
  • A brain that keeps asking whether I am I training enough (especially during the last two weeks as I am on holiday so have dropped the distances to 10k every two days)
  • A brain that keeps asking, have I done everything I need l so I am permitted to run on the day
  • A brain that is asking what will happen if public transport goes on strike and I can’t get there with plan A (…and will people support plan B?)
  • A brain that is making me feel guilty for leaving my kids with others so I can run
  • A brain that keeps asking what I will do if I can’t get my number and running pack
  • A brain that keeps asking how I will cope if I meltdown in front of all those people
  • A brain that is frightened of all those people
  • A brain that affirms my feeling alone and lack of support through very little sponsorship, and is trying so hard to remind itself of the tough financial times people are in
  • A brain that keeps telling me NO

But that very same brain does that to me with most things in life. It tells me “I cannot” “should not” and “should do”, but what it doesn’t bargain for is one key element to my armour…

With my Autistic brain came something that would help me fight back, something that would overcome my lack of confidence and ability to cope with unknowns, and that was ‘determination’ – the stuff of grit – the thing that makes the impossible possible.

I don’t know whether I will run all the way, walk a bit, or crawl, but what I am damn sure of, is I WILL cross that finish line, come hell or high water, and it will be my determination that makes it so, the same determination that has helped me cope through life not knowing I was Autistic for the first 45 years.

I simply hold myself to one thing “I WILL cross the finish line” because the cause is enough #autism

If you’d like to support my crossing of the finish line, you can do so here. I thank you in advance 💞