This is the 7 year old girl who felt lost, lonely, ugly, and unlovable. She doesn’t yet know she will wait another 38 years to find the reason for those feelings…
At the age of 45 she will find the answer to her ‘Why?’ She will learn that she is different, but not wrong. She will learn that she experiences the world in a different way, through a different brain type, and has different needs which must be met if she is to stay well. Needs that won’t be met up until that point. She will learn she is actually Autistic.
In 2022, my book, which documents my experience of living for 45 years undiagnosed Autistic, as a ‘Lost Girl’, was published. I wrote my lived experience with one intention, to help other ‘Lost Girls’ (and boys) to find themselves, to self-identify, and to find the answer to their ‘why’. We are so often mirrors to one another, my reflection is yours. I share my story because, when we live a life lost, we suffer, some more so than others, and tragically, some will die as a result of that suffering. Self-identification, and for those that choose it, subsequent clinical diagnosis, can be life-changing. We no longer feel so lost and unloveable, and we feel less lonely because we find our tribe, our people. It can make surviving in a world not created by us, for us, or with us, survivable.
I have written the book I so desperately wish someone had written for me 30 years ago, and I am able to write it because I know the pain of not knowing who you are and searching a lifetime for the answer to your ‘Why?’ I have been emancipated from my chains. I now turn to help others become free from theirs…
Available on Amazon in paperback and Amazon Kindle e-book and from 2024 available in audio format from Audible.
